Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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