Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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