Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Girls should come with a carfax report
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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