I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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