apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
