I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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