you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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