I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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