That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
