i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
