I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
