just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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