He uses pillows to masturbate.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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