I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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