Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
