come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
