you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
