Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
