that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
