i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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