Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
