She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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