It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm really busy with my period
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