Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
