sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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