I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
