I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
