Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
