I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
