How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
