My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
