I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize