What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Small penises have feelings too.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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