remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
