obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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