proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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