My first STD was from a foam party
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
