Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Randomize
