sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
