Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
