you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
