I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
