After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
