So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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