You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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