She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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