i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
