it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
