How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
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