i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
