Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
