It's like God shit irony all over that family
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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