Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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