We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
