I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize