Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
