come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
