Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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