And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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