Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
