this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
