doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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